Let’s cut to the chase with this one. A cat, Dottie (pictured below), urinated in the seat of this La-Z-Boy.
Still reading? Good for you. Anyway, I’ve spent at least an hour spraying, scrubbing, and FeBreezing the affected area. I even experimented with an elaborate, spell-like string of profanities in the hopes that it would smell like nothing but sunshine and dreams, but can you imagine, it just smells like cat pee and Yumberry Sangria Febreeze.
It really only smells that way when your face is about 6 inches away from the seat, and besides, what kind of weirdo goes around smelling recliner seats? Perverts, that’s who.
I like to imagine that the cat was so relaxed while enjoying this super plush, fully-functioning recliner, that it reached a level of comfort so transcendent, that it nearly approached death, and its bladder ceased to function. Its body released urine as a survival mechanism to bring its little kitty soul back to earth so it could live to pee and purr another day.
So, why not be so comfortable that you risk incontinence? Huh? Huh? Can you, in all good conscience, resist such a pitch? And if you and your friends and family aren’t a bunch of seat-smelling perverts, what’s the downside? You’re not a pervert, are you? PROVE IT BY BUYING THIS CHAIR.
And, get a load of this! The price? A mere $25. But wait for it – are you sitting down? (Probably not, because you don’t have this awesome chair) I’ll even throw in the cat for an extra $5!
YOU READ THAT RIGHT. $25 for a La-Z-Boy, OR, $30 for this LIMITED EDITION La-Z-Boy/Cat set! What a bargain! (Or best offer.)
Email me for directions. We’re conveniently located right off of 35, not too far from Franklin’s BBQ. Dottie and I eagerly anticipate your response.