I am a handsome, well-loved and powerful millionaire. I live in Austin, Texas at the top of an unscalable mountain of superiority, and I can be found on my throne of half-read books and taco wrappers. I have a beard which doubles as a built-on bib.
Curmudgeon-in-residence, I’m an Andy Rooney understudy – indignant, grumpy, and very confused at all these bright lights and shouting nincompoops.
The Fat Fingers of Justice 
speaking of, I think I have a picture of you on my iPhone…in a suit no less.
Definitely a power photo, what is your email and I will pass it along.